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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747948">A Soul For Two</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/devinemoon/pseuds/devinemoon'>devinemoon</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>NCT (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Break Up, Everyone Needs A Hug, Fluff, Lack of Communication, M/M, Miscommunication, My First AO3 Post, blame it on the lack of sleep, just mayhaps, mayhaps i added a cat for Ten, this is a mess</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:00:12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,035</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22747948</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/devinemoon/pseuds/devinemoon</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"A door slamming, a messy apartment and two broken hearts were left there. Half of a soul walked away. It might never come back."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>118</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. February 3rd</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>This is my first post in here. English is not my first language so im sorry if there's mistakes here and there. i would also love some constructive criticism so i can improve!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donghyuck hates break ups.</p><p>He hasn’t experienced a lot of them, in fact this is just the second time someone makes his heart hurt like that. He knows he’s made the same damage to the other person involved, though. His chest aches even more at the thought of making his significant other hurt.</p><p>He hates it.</p><p>He hates feeling guilty, hates waking up to the cold right side of his bed. Hates spending time at an apartment made for two and hates the lack of shoes that now show at his door, the lack of clothes inside the closet, the lack of a pair of round glasses sitting at the nightstand. God, he just hates the lack of <em>him. </em></p><p>
  <em> <em> <em>Him. </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>Mark. </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>Mark is not the perfect boy. He sometimes leaves early in the morning and forgets to turn off the coffee machine, forgets his keys on his way out and doesn’t know how to cook anything else than pancakes. He curses in english under his breath and always stains his own shirt during breakfast.</p><p>But he’s also is the kindest man alive. He stops to say hi to the kitty that wonders around the neighborhood, chose to specialize in pediatrics so he can hopefully help kids in the future, waits for him outside the art building so Donghyuck doesn’t have to walk alone to their apartment, even if he has to wait two hours. Loves kisses, and is sweet enough to leave some coffee for him in the mornings, even if he himself is running late and never forgets to text him or leave a little post-it around the kitchen wishing him an amazing day and reminding Hyuck that he loves him.</p><p>Maybe that’s why this break up hurts even more that the last one. But again, he wasn’t dating the best boy alive and he doesn’t remember feeling extremely loved.<br/>No one was prepared for them to break up. In their friend’s eyes they seemed like the perfect two. Happy, supportive one to another, sweetest couple ever. Things can go wrong very easily , he guesses.</p><p>The month leading to their breakup was absolutely hell. Between finals season, shifts at the hospital, artists blocks and no sleep they started to lose that thin thread of sanity the had left. The first time that the thread broke happened on the first week of February. Mark hadn’t been sleeping like he should, being offered an early internship at the children's clinic by one of his teachers, who saw a lot of future in him. His shifts were late at night in order to attend college in the mornings. He was tired, spent and the only thing he wanted was some good sleep between college and the hospital hours. Sometimes he wouldn’t even go home, and on not-so-busy days where he did go home, he would usually be too tired to even speak to Donghyuck.</p><p>Hyuck was usually really understanding of the situation. On a normal day he would let him rest and maybe pack Mark’s lunch early in the morning just to make sure the boy was feeding himself properly.</p><p>But being an art student was not any easier, at least not during finals. He had canvases lying around the little apartment, his back was sore, and he was sleepless enough to snap at any little thing that went wrong.</p><p>On days he was relaxed, Mark would come home stressed and tired, feeling like his eyelids weighted more than his whole body. Sometimes he would cry out of lack of sleep and stress, the only thing on his mind being calling Mark and crying all his worries out, letting them pour out of his eyes and mouth. Mark never picked up calls when he was at the hospital. Too tired to deal with anything after his shift he would usually not mind the missing calls, if those calls were important Hyuck would talk about it home. He never did.</p><p>In the first week of February they had their first heated argument.</p><p>Insults were thrown into the air, tears and puffy faces. After a good 30-minute argument they cried into each other’s arms, whimpering a small sorry, they decided to pretend like it never happened.</p><p>On the second week of February they forgot about valentine’s day, each other’s kisses and some dates. He stopped calling after Mark stopped texting, he stopped packing lunch when Mark stopped coming home. But he didn’t stopped crying. Mark didn’t either. But again, communication seemed to be the last thing on their minds.</p><p>The final week of February the thread finally broke. More insults were thrown, red faces and some rejected canvases were broken in the process, along their hearts.</p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>“You never come home” </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>“You never listen” </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>“I’m trying to get us a better future” </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>“I’m trying for us to work out, but it feels useless” </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>“You stopped caring” </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>“You stopped trying” </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p><em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>“You did too” <em><br/>.<br/>.<br/>.<br/><em>“Then we´re done”</em></em></em></em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </p><p>
  <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em> <em>  </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em> </em>
</p><p>A door slamming, a messy apartment and two broken hearts were left there. Half of a soul walked away. It might never come back.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. God Bless Our Souls</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Am I enough? Is it in my head? Did we fuck this up?”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Morgan Saint - God bless our souls</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He doesn’t know where he’s heading, all he knows is that he was home a couple minutes ago, there were screams, tears and a few broken things lying around the floor. Before he realizes, there’s a door in front of him and he’s already ringing the bell.</p><p>The door opens, on the inside a petite man with a confused look on his eyes opens the door.</p><p>“Mark?”</p><p>He finally breaks.</p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Donghyuck has been staring at the clock on the wall for the past half an hour. All he can see in his head is white walls, he thinks about nothing but knows he’s crying. Sobs are the only sound inside the little apartment, that now feels way too big for him. Another half an hour has passed before he can get up from the floor, his knees must hurt from sitting on them for that long, but he doesn’t register any pain that doesn’t come from his heart.</p><p>He takes some time to look around the apartment and finally sees the mess that surrounds him.</p><p>And decides he need to go to bed.</p><p>Its already two a.m. but his mind replays their fight repeatedly.</p><p>Its three a.m. and he wonder if Mark is alright, wherever he might be.</p><p>Its four a.m. and he finally let’s his heart pour over and spill everywhere. He screams, cries and sobs loudly. His heart hurts, his head does too and the only thing he can do is wonder if this is all his fault, if there’s anything he can do now. Wishing on the stars, God or whoever is up there to please help him, <em>help them.</em></p><p>Its finally five a.m. and he finally sleeps, too tired to even remember his lids closing.</p><p>When 9 a.m. finally hits the clock, he wakes up. There’s someone knocking on his door, his phone filled with notifications he doesn’t even bother to read. He gets up, crosses the little lounge ignoring the mess and finally opens the door.</p><p>A very worried Jaemin comes into view.</p><p>Donghyuck breaks again, right there and he feels a pair of arms hugging him instantly.</p><p>“You´re okay, you’re safe Hyuck.”</p><p>He almost wants to laugh. He’s not okay.</p><p>They enter the apartment, Jaemin quietly gasping at the mess in the room.</p><p>“What happened? Where’s mark? Hyuck?”</p><p>“I think we fucked everything up”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Mark?”</p><p>Ten stares at Mark in confusion. Mark is sobbing and looks like a wet puppy that was abandoned by his owner on the rain. He feels like that too.</p><p>“Oh, honey” Ten says and hugs him, leading him inside his house.</p><p><em>“Of course I would end up here”</em> Mark thinks. Ten is the older hyung he never had, and tends to go to sleep when the clock has hit the a.m. Maybe his brain just knew where to go. They met a couple of years ago and since then, he took the role of Mark’s older brother.</p><p>Sarcastic, active and very talented, but sweet and caring. That’s Ten.</p><p>They sit in the big sofa in front of a tv and a coffee table for a couple of minutes. Mark opens his mouth.</p><p>“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel ready to, Mark. It’s okay.” He says.</p><p>Just then Marks notices that he’s gripping Ten’s hand and his body is shaking. Ten looks at him with a worry written on his eyes, he’s never seen Mark like this before.</p><p>“I’m going to get you something to drink, okay?” He whispers “You want water? Tea? Coffee?”</p><p>“Tea, please” Mark finally says. He truly looks lost and heartbroken but Ten decides to let him calm down a little more before asking what’s going on.</p><p>“I still have your favorite. Bleu blush, right?” He asks while holding the little tea box. Mark nods and he proceeds to boil some water.</p><p>There’s more silence. Mark knows that any other day Ten would be asking him questions, laughing at his jokes or teasing him. His home is always filled with laughs, music or the sound of a cat bell wondering around the house. But he also knows that if there’s anyone in this world who can understand a heartbreak, that’s Ten; because even if he hasn’t said anything yet, Ten just knows.</p><p>Before he thinks too deep about it, the later comes out of the kitchen holding two cups of tea and a little jar of honey, placing everything on the coffee table and murmuring “It’s hot so be careful, okay?”</p><p>There’s more silence and Mark finally takes some time to look around him. The wall where the tv is at has some drawings and polaroids, there’s a little vase filled with red roses sitting in the coffee table and a little porcelain cat sitting beside it. Mark finally realizes that there’s someone missing.</p><p>“Where’s Bubbles?” He asks.</p><p>Ten has a little cat he adopted a couple of months ago, four months ago if he remembers correctly. It’s a white munchkin cat and he choose to adopt him because, in his hyung’s own words, “looks small but evil, like himself”.</p><p>“Lucas stole him for the weekend” Ten deadpans. “I mean it, he literally stole him. He came over like two days ago, and when he left I suddenly realized that something, no, <em>someone </em>was missing. Xuxi texted me a selfie of them sleeping, caption was ‘I’m with gege for the weekend. See you on Monday papa!’ As if he was the fucking cat.”</p><p>Mark chuckles a little, Lucas is just like Mark, a friend Ten happened to claim as his own little brother.</p><p>It gets quiet again. Mark takes a deep breath before speaking again.</p><p>“Donghyuck and I broke up” He sobs. “And I don’t think we’re getting back together”</p><p>Ten gasps upon seeing tears staining Mark’s cheeks again.  </p><p>“Oh Mark, I’m so sorry” He says, while hugging the younger tight.</p><p>Ten can see Mark drowning. His eyes are filled with tears, lunges don’t seem to catch air and he’s trembling. Ten know the feeling too well, it physically hurts watching Mark drown.</p><p>“Mark, honey” He says, while cupping Mark’s cheeks “I need you to look at me, yeah? Now breath with me”</p><p>He places Mark’s right hand on his chest and slowly, Mark starts breathing at a normal pace.</p><p>“I think you need to sleep” Ten says after “You know there’s a spare room next to mine, you can sleep there and we’ll talk about it in the morning or whenever you’re ready, okay?”</p><p>They make their way to said room. It’s around 4 a.m and Mark wonder if Donghyuck is okay.</p><p>His phone suddenly vibrates beside him.</p><p> </p><p><strong><em>Ten Hyung</em></strong> <strong><em>&lt;3 4:16 a.m.</em></strong></p><p>
  <em>If you feel too uncomfy sleeping alone </em>
</p><p>
  <em>you can always come to my room okay? </em>
</p><p>
  <em> I’ll make some space for you.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He ends up sleeping on the left side of Ten’s bed. The older assuring him he’s gonna be okay.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Lilac</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“How’s the weather there? In my sky at night, memories keep coming back to me. They keep talking to me (…) I think of you every day, I can’t stop it. How can I love you? Now that I’m talking to you, my heart is overflowing”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>bath - offonoff<br/>my favorite clothes - RINI</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Donghyuck sits on the edge of the bathtub that’s currently filling with warm water. While the water pours into the bath, he asks himself <em>“How are we feeling?”,</em> just like Jaemin ask him to do a yesterday before going back to his dorm. “Awful.” He answers loudly, hoping he can acknowledge his feeling and they finally stop hurting as much as they do. It never works.</p><p>As the bath starts filling more and more, he reaches out to pour lilac liquid into the water. On any other occasion, the smell of lilac blossom would comfort him. But tonight, the scent of lilac only reminds him of Mark. They bought the bubble bath a couple of months ago. Even if it was a little expensive Mark gave into Hyuck’s sparkling and agreed to buy it.</p><p>The smell also reminds him of all the nights they spent laying into each other´s chests, talking about their days, listening to each other worries and their heartbeats.</p><p>Now that there’s only a small amount of the bubble bath left; he can’t help but wonder if there’s just a little of their love left too. He decides to pour just a small amount, in case there’s such a little amount that he accidentally ends up wasting it all, just like his heart.</p><p>He finally sinks into the warm lilac colored water, closes his eyes and starts recalling the past week.</p><p> The day after the fight, he was supposed to meet Jaemin at the art room for a personal project they wanted to create. When 9 a.m. hit the clock and Hyuck haven’t answered his calls or text Jaemin got worried and decided to go look for him. After seeing his broken self along with the broken canvases in the floor, Jaemin decided to stay with Hyuck a couple of days. He cleaned the mess and made sure Donghyuck was eating and resting enough. The shock written in his eyes when Hyuck told him what happened will forever be on his mind.</p><p>Jaemin made sure to help him in any way he could. He would talk to the boy, ask him to truthfully tell him how he was feeling, embracing him when he needed the warm his own self couldn’t generate. But Jaemin had a boyfriend to come home to, classes to attend and surely things he wanted to do by himself. That’s why Hyuck told him he should go home and promised him he would answer his texts, ask himself about his feelings and gave him a spare key, just in case.</p><p>Now he’s alone, in a bathtub that reminds him of Mark’s scent and feeling.</p><p>It’s been a week, but both of them are too stubborn and maybe too scared to text the other. To say, ‘<em>I miss you, come home’, </em>too scared the other might just say they don’t feel the same.</p><p>When Donghyuck opens his eyes again, he’s hit with the realization that, just like the bottle of bubbles, their time might end.</p><p>He doesn’t want to think about <em>what ifs. </em></p><p>He just doesn’t want to think anymore.</p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p>It’s been a week since Mark crashed at Ten’s place. The older told him not to worry about where to sleep or hang out, he can stay there if he wants or as long as needed. Mark can’t help but feel bad about causing his hyung that much trouble, but Ten insists.</p><p>On Monday he does back to the hospital, completely heartbroken and restless, between shifts he goes to the back of the little rest room, sets an alarm and just sleeps a little. There hasn’t been a day where he doesn’t wake up thinking of Donghyuck.</p><p>His heart is telling him to go back to that apartment and apologize, just <strong>go, go, go. </strong>But his mind is too scared of what could happen if he does. It screams <strong>don’t</strong>.</p><p>He wonders if Donghyuck is alright, or if he’s falling into pieces just like him. If he tells the moon all his worries, just like him. If he wants him back just as much as Mark wants to go back. He convinces himself that Hyuck is much better without him.</p><p>So with that thought in mind, he asks Lucas to please bring him some of his belongings and asks Ten if he can stay.  They agree.</p><p>Lucas text Hyuck the next day, telling him he’s gonna go and collect some of Marks belongings.</p><p>Donghyuck tells him he can ask Jaemin for the spare key and go to the apartment from 2 p.m. to 6 p.m.</p><p>On Friday morning, almost everything inside Marks closet and drawers is with him.</p><p>On Saturday he asks himself if that was for the best.</p><p>On Sunday he ends up crying into his brother’s arms, wondering if there’s a way to go back and fix things.</p><p><em>“It’s for better” </em>He thinks to himself <em>“If this makes him feel more comfortable, then it’s the best”</em>.</p><p> </p><p>He’s so wrong.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>When Donghyuck comes home on Friday night he notices things missing. No white dirty converse on the entrance is the first thing. No medicine book around the home is the second thing. Missing photo frames, a missing blue toothbrush beside his own.</p><p>When he enters their share bedroom, he knows there’s almost no Mark left.</p><p>There’s empty space inside the closet, where there used to be a constant discussion on who was using more room. There are no round glasses in the nightstand.</p><p> </p><p>He feels sick.</p><p> </p><p>Placed carefully in the middle of the bed, lays a black shirt and a grey hoodie. Donghyuck recognizes them as clothes he used to steal from Mark.</p><p>“<em>Comfort clothes,</em>” he explained to Mark once, “<em>for when I feel sad and you’re not here. I can feel closer to you like this”. </em> He said, showing the older his sweater paws.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> ➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Mark  </em>
  </strong>
  <strong>
    <em>⸜</em>
  </strong>
  <strong>
    <em>( ˙˘˙)</em>
  </strong>
  <strong>
    <em>⸝  05:22 p.m.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>xuxi?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>can you please leave</em>
</p><p>
  <em>a black shirt</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and a grey hoodie there?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Mark  ⸜( ˙˘˙)⸝  05:25 p.m.</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>Just in case</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He wants to wear them</em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Full of firsts (and lasts)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“I know you don't fall and tell. But darling, I know you too well. You don't think that heaven's real, so I'll love you 'til it hurts like hell. 'Til God breaks this spell”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Spell – NIKI<br/>Nuestro Planeta – Kali Uchis </p><p>This took me too long im sorry! im kinda insecure to post this one, but i really wanted to so here it goes. i might edit it again once it's posted.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time they met each other’s eyes was during the beginning of autumn three years ago.</p><p>Donghyuck worked at an old café close to the college they attend now. Mark became a frequent client, especially during the evenings. The boy would go to the café, a bag filled with books and notes. He would order and then sit beside a window. Hyuck would watch him spent hours going through various books, take notes on a little notebook or write on his laptop. He also would wonder if his college life would be like the black-haired boy sitting by the window.</p><p> 20 minutes before closing time Mark would exit the café with the silent promise to come by tomorrow.</p><p>Weeks passed and so did seasons, people would come and go to the café, some regulars some others never really crossed the door again. But Donghyuck was sure Mark would come by, he always did.</p><p>By the beginning of December Donghyuck had already memorized his usual order and the color of his eyes, his messy hair and the small details on the frame of his round glasses. Sometimes they would smile at each other when their eyes met, other times they would just secretly admire each other from the distance.</p><p>Mark stopped going to the café by the end of December. Hyuck would look at Mark’s usual spot, now empty, and wonder what happened to the dark-haired boy with round glasses. But he ultimately decided to worry about his college exam and stop worrying about the person who once sat at the little table by the window. </p><p>Hyuck’s first day of college came by faster than he would have thought, starting in the middle of January. Moving out of his parents’ home, saying goodbye to his siblings but still working at the café to make his parents a little less preoccupated about money. He would work there early in the morning and leave by 4 p.m. to go to his first lessons. There is where he met Jaemin. The boy was charming and very friendly. Often times they would walk to their dorms together and help each other with individual projects. That’s how Jaemin officially became his first college friend. Hyuck wouldn’t want it any other way.</p><p>The second time Mark’s eyes stared into Hyuck’s was when he found out that said boy was his friend’s roommate.</p><p>Donghyuck came by to their dorm to drop some art supplies he had stolen (or rather ‘kinda borrowed but not really’ as he would explain to Jaemin.) and Mark opened the door. They starred at each other for what felt like ages. Of all places he could imagine finding that cute boy with glasses, he never imagined it would be right in front of his best friend’s dorm. And they just stood there, in silence. Moments later, Jaemin introduced him as his roommate.</p><p>“We’ve met before, right?”</p><p>“Yeah, just never really spoken.”</p><p>“Jaemin, you must be extremely loud for him to visit the café so often” Donghyuck chuckles, without breaking eye contact with that boy who he now recognized by the name of Mark, <em>Mark Lee.</em></p><p>“He kinda is”</p><p>“HEY”</p><p>After their second encounter, the universe played some tricks to pull the closer like magnets, picking them up from wherever they might be and just throwing them at each other, each day growing closer together until one day they just feel the need to be even closer.</p><p>  On not so busy days, Mark would visit the little café and they will chat on Hyuck’s 10-minute break, that’s how he found out that Mark was studying medicine and that he stopped going to the café after winter break because his body finally got used to his schedule and just didn’t need caffeine so often.</p><p>Slowly yet surely, Mark becomes someone he can come to and he becomes someone Mark can go to.</p><p>Mark becomes warm smiles after a long shift, secret gazes across the room and oversize jackets dropped on his shoulders on a chilly night. They talk about the stars, future plans and their favorite season. They spend countless talking on the phone about their worries, what makes them happy and what brings them down. And it becomes a habit.</p><p>So, when their lips meet for the first time at the balcony of a frat party it feels like their souls are dancing, telling each other all the little things they couldn’t say before, and the moon is shining brightly in approval.</p><p>And when they find themselves months later renting a little cheap apartment together, waking up next to each other and coming back to a place they can call home, they know their souls belong together. They have a lot of firsts togethers, each one of them helping them grow, wondering if this is finally the safe space they never knew they were looking for. They wonder if the matching pajamas and the smell of coffee in the morning will stay. If this is what young love feels like, and if they can keep it young even when they’re 40 years old.</p><p>They also secretly pray that the day where their souls are apart never shows up at the little apartment door. </p><p> </p><p>The last time their eyes met was two weeks ago. Too scared of what if’s, too afraid of losing the last pieces of their hearts. They’re not sure if this first would also be their last.</p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p>Hyuck doesn’t even know why he accepted to come in the first place. He’s currently at a party, in a basement of someone’s house. There are neon lights and people kissing everywhere. Upstairs the living room isn’t any better. He truly feels out of place.</p><p>Some hours ago, he was still at the apartment, laying on the couch and feeling sorry for himself, just a gray hoodie to hug him. Jaemin came in using the spare key he gave him and just told him they were going out, Jeno was picking the up in 30. He whined, tried to get angry and even lay on the floor but it was useless.</p><p>“You need to go out and forget a little about this whole thing, about <em>him.” </em>Jaemin said “You’re gonna feel better, and we’re gonna be with you so you don’t have to feel alone, okay?”</p><p>He agreed, thinking it was a good idea to just go out, dance and drink with strangers. Have fun.</p><p>20 minutes after entering the house Jaemin and Jeno were nowhere to be seen, and he was starting to get a little tipsy. In any other situation, tip Hyuck would mean a more social Hyuck, but now he just felt sad and sorry for himself.</p><p>He decided to sit in the only couch that didn’t have any couple making out and just stay there for a little bit. Maybe his friends were having fun and the last thing he wanted was ruining it all. Chung down the last bits of the horrible beer he was drinking and just sit by himself, looking at his phone till his friends were ready to leave.</p><p>“Hey”</p><p>A guy sits by his side.</p><p>“Oh, hi” He replied. He’s sure he’s never seen him before, or maybe he has, but his tipsy self is a little gone to remember him.</p><p>“It doesn’t seem like you’re having any fun, are you” The guy says. Hyuck chuckles. “Here with anyone?”</p><p>This guy is handsome, tall and he just looks like a model.</p><p>“Just two friends, they’re probably having fun upstairs and I don’t wanna bother them”</p><p>They keep talking and he realizes that the guy is trying to flirt with him, holding his pinky a little, getting closer to him. He doesn’t like it, but he forces himself to try and flirt back all he wants is to forget and get his heart to stop hurting.</p><p>“I’m gonna get you a drink okay? Be right back.” The guy says. Donghyuck finally takes time to breathe and ask himself “<em>what are you doing”</em>.</p><p>He feels dumb, pushing himself out of his comfort zone just because he wants his heart to stop breaking, to forget that it even hurts in the first place. But this guy is not Mark. He’s doesn’t have that cute smile Mark has, doesn’t laugh like Mark does, doesn’t make him feel like home and his hands are not warm and soft like Mark’s. Even if he tried not to, he would still compare him to Mark, because, Mark is the only one he’s thinking about, even if it hurts. Mark is the only his soul wants back.</p><p>When the guy comes back, a beer on each hand, he takes a decision.</p><p>“I haven’t been all honest with you” He says as soon as the other sits by his side. “The truth is, that I have someone in my mind. I know I’m the biggest idiot out here, trying to flirt with you just to forget but I feel shitty about this. I’m sorry”</p><p>The guy stares at him for a little and he’s not sure if he should just call an uber and leave or wait for a response.</p><p>“It’s okay, kinda figured it out” the guy smiles. “Your body gets stiff when you try to flirt back, but I just thought it was your personality. No worries, hope you can solve your problem”</p><p>They guy says goodbye and just walk away to who Donghyuck assumes are his friends. He decides to get out of the party.</p><p>When he’s finally outside he decides to sit on the grass outside the house and think. Think about his emotions, ask himself how he’s feeling and wonder how’s Mark doing, and allows himself to ask questions he didn’t let himself say out loud.  </p><p>So, he decides to take him phone out of his back pocket and call. Searching for answers, the alcohol on his system shutting off his brain and telling him to just <strong><em>do it</em></strong>. </p><p><em>“Donghyuck? Are you okay?” </em>A worried Mark answers.</p><p>“Is it over?” He asks him.</p><p>“Hyuck, where are you”</p><p>“Outside a party, are we over?”</p><p>“It’s almost four, Hyuck, it's not safe to be out this late. And I think you’re too drunk for this conversation” Mark says, worry pouring out of his mouth.</p><p>“I’m not that drunk”</p><p>The line gets silent for what it feels like ages, Donghyuck can feel his heart beating like crazy by just listening to Mark’s voice over the phone, just by listening to Mark's breathe.</p><p>“Send me the address, I’m picking you up.”</p><p>“No” Donghyuck says, a little disappointed. “I’ll just get an uber to take me to the apartment”</p><p>“Send me the address, Donghyuck. Please”</p><p>So he does.</p><p>Mark tells him he’s on his way and in less than 15 minutes he finds himself sitting in the passenger’s seat of a car he barely recognizes as Ten’s car.</p><p>It’s silent for most of the ride till they stop at a red light. Words itching at the top of Hyuck’s throat, desperate to come out and ask because his heart just wants to know if this is the like the last drops of the lavender bubble bath and their time is just ending like that. If their little lavender bubble is about to pop and just vanish in the air, like it was never there.</p><p>“You didn’t answer my question” He takes a moment. “Is it over?”</p><p> </p><p>It’s been two weeks since their eyes last met. But tonight, it feels like the first time all over again.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. In the morning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“Fuck it, here it comes, uh. Heartbreak is annoying, and I feel it in the morning”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Don’t wanna think – Julia Michaels<br/>Ignorantes – Bad Bunny <br/>yes i used bad bunny as inspiration no i will not elaborate on that one. hope u enjoy! i would also love constructive critism!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The traffic lights turn green before Mark even has the chance to say anything. He decides to just stay silent. Hyuck scoffs on the passenger’s seat. </p>
<p>“Stop the car, I’m calling an uber now” He says.</p>
<p>“Hyuck…”</p>
<p>“Stop the damn car, Mark.” He says a little bit louder this time, almost shouting.</p>
<p>“No.” Mark says firmly. There’s no way he’s leaving a drunk Donghyuck in the middle of nowhere.</p>
<p>The car gets silent again, and this time Donghyuck can feel all the alcohol he drank earlier kicking at once. He feels light, sleepy. The taste of cheap beer and flavored vodka dancing around his mouth makes him speak again.</p>
<p>“You know, im drunk now” He starts. “I might not even remember seeing you when I wake up. But I also feel the need to tell you this”</p>
<p>He stares at the city lights outside his window. Feeling a little too drunk, a little too dizzy and very heartbroken. Not even the taste of vodka could make his heart ache a little less.</p>
<p>“Today I tried to flirt with this dude”</p>
<p>Mark grips the steering wheel a little, his jaw gets a little tight too.</p>
<p>“And before continuing I want to say that you’re an asshole. There was a handsome dude flirting with me, but my mind kept reminding me of your stupid face. And I hate it, Lee.” He says bitterly. His eyes a little watery “I hate that everything reminds me of <strong><em>you</em></strong>, I hate that even at parties I keep remembering the first time <strong><em>we</em></strong> kissed, I hate that even while drunk my first instinct was calling <strong><em>you</em></strong>. I hate that the smell of lavender reminds me of <strong><em>you</em></strong> and I absolutely hate that even when I say I hate you my body, mind and soul keep longing for <strong>you</strong>.”  </p>
<p>He hugs himself and takes a couple of deep breaths. His chest feels lighter than it has been since that day.</p>
<p>“And I just want to know if this is the end, because it feels like it is. And now I’m too fucking drunk and won’t even remember this. But you need to know that even when I’m drunk and sad—”</p>
<p>The car stays silent again, Mark thinks Donghyuck just can’t find the words he wants to say, but when he takes a quick look, Donghyuck is almost asleep. His eyes a droopy and a small sigh escapes from his lips. Moments later, he’s fast asleep.</p>
<p>Mark thinks that Donghyuck look beautiful even when he’s drunk and just spilled his feeling out.</p>
<p>He also wonders if this is the end or not.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s phone starts vibrating a couple of meters before arriving the apartment complex but said boy just groans on his sleep and tosses the phone out of his pocket. Mark decides to pick it up and answer but the phone stops ringing before he can even reach it.</p>
<p>Whoever that was is not important right now. He needs to take the sleepy brown-haired boy to the apartment now.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>➳♡゛</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Donghyuck wakes up in the morning with a terrible headache he knows he fucked up. He doesn’t remember how, but he just knows. He spends a couple of minutes trying to fall asleep again, closes his eyes and turns to face the right side of the bed. That side that reminds him of someone. Realization hits right after that.</p>
<p>He was drunk, called Mark and he brough him home.</p>
<p>But <em>where is he?</em></p>
<p>He’s not sure if he should get up and look for Mark, his head hurts and his heart is beating like crazy inside his chest. But what if Mark is in the kitchen making coffee for the them, what if Mark is on the couch with his round glasses on watching tv, what if Mark is back home.</p>
<p>He gets up and walks faster than he’s ever walked to the living room, his heart feels like it’s about to explode, because if Mark is here, if Mark’s <strong><em>home</em></strong> that means this is not over, means that all his prayers were answered and all the nights he spend talking to the stars were heard.</p>
<p>When he enters the living room his eyes go directly to the couch. He’s trembling, he’s excited and scared.</p>
<p>“Mark.”</p>
<p>Mark’s not there.</p>
<p>He goes to the kitchen, but Mark is not there either. In fact, Mark is just nowhere in the little apartment.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Oh.”</em>
</p>
<p>He sits on the couch once again and stares outside the window. Takes a deep breath and sighs. It’s over. Just like the bubble bath, just like yesterday’s cheap beer. It disappeared into the air, just like lavender bubbles. <em>Pop </em></p>
<p>Mark was there yesterday, and today once again, he’s gone. Maybe this time for good.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>➳♡゛</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Ten Hyung  &lt;3  8:00 a.m. </em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Mark </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>i kinda </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>need my car back</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>You 8:03</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>im heading back now</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>ill there in 5</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <strong>
    <em>Ten Hyung  &lt;3 8:05</em>
  </strong>
</p>
<p>
  <em>k </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>drive carefully </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>don’t rush </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>and mark? Idk what</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>happened last night</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>but it’s okay</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>xuxi and i are here for u</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>The sun just came out if its sleep and the streets are empty, and Mark can’t help but recall what happened last light and wonder if he should’ve stay with Donghyuck. He asks himself if Donghyuck would be fine now that he’s gone again. He thinks about Hyuck flirting with some dude yesterday and he can clearly hear his voice inside his head. <em>“I absolutely hate that even when I say I hate you my body, mind and soul keep longing for you.”  </em></p>
<p>When he finally parks outside Ten’s home he goes straight to the door, Bubbles is in the living room and as he sits on the couch the little cat places himself on his lap.</p>
<p>“You seem to know a lot about love, Bubbles” He chuckles sadly “My heart aches for a boy I just left alone in what used to be our home, and my head keeps thinking about him even when I’m at the hospital, and I keep wondering if he’s doing alright or if this is the best for him. I want to go back and cry my eyes out and tell him I love him, but I can’t”</p>
<p>The little cat stares at him and he feels dumb for even telling his worries to a cat.</p>
<p>“Bubbles might not be able to talk, but I can” Ten enters the living room. He’s already dressed to go to the dance studio. “And if you want advice from someone who is somewhat like a cat, I’m here.”</p>
<p>Ten smiles at him and Mark recognizes that as his signature reassuring smile. A smile that can say “it’s okay” without the need of words.</p>
<p>Mark encourages him to speak. He could use some advice from his hyung.</p>
<p>“I think you two are way too dumb” He starts. Mark looks at him with wide eyes, but lets the boy continue as he sits on the couch in front of him. “You keep avoiding each other and thinking the other is better off without you. But for all I know, the lack of communication is what brought you two here.”</p>
<p>“Heartbreak is annoying, Mark. You built this whole routine for years and suddenly you realize it’s all gone. And there’s no one to cry to at night, there’s no one to kiss in the morning, no one to listen to, no one to love. How about asking him about his feelings? If he misses you too? If he wants to end things or try again?” Ten continues, his eyes are looking at Mark, but Mark can sense there’s something else on his mind, or rather, <em>someone</em>.</p>
<p>They stay silent for some time, until Mark dares to ask.</p>
<p>“Hyung, how did it felt when you broke up with him?”</p>
<p>Ten takes a deep breath before answering.</p>
<p>“There’s no need to avoid his name, Mark.” Ten says. “When Johnny and I broke up, I was a mess. I cried like crazy on the first week, stopped taking care of myself on the second, got angry and even told him over text that I wished I never met him on the third week. Then one day, after two months I realized that we both messed up. Hurt each other and decided to just never address things. I realized that overworking myself and blaming everything on each other were only ways to cope with my own heartbreak. And when I went to his dorm that night, his roommate told me that he had gone back to the states.”</p>
<p>Ten stares at bubbles, who is fast asleep on Mark’s lap now.</p>
<p>“Mark, this is me telling you that you have a second chance. That even if right now you’re afraid of what could happen if you go back, you can also solve things. You’re young, and I don’t want you to blame yourself in the future for letting your present love go. I don’t want you to miss someone you can’t have 5 years down the line. Especially if you feel that said someone is <strong><em>the one</em></strong>. Just go back now before it’s too late.”</p>
<p>If there’s someone who know about heartbreak, that’s Ten. He knows about being young, about being in love, but most importantly, about being too late.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Growing Pains</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“We haven't spoke since you went away. Comfortable silence is so overrated.<br/>Why won't you ever be the first one to break? Even the phone misses your call, by the way”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>From the dining table – Harry Styles<br/>Try Again – d.ear, Jaehyun.<br/>That’s Okay – D.O </p><p>ive been busy but finally!!! there's one more chapter to go and i'll officially end this whole thing!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He’s been starring at the celling for god know how many minutes now, maybe even hours. It doesn’t really matter. Or at least not anymore.</p><p>When he woke up this morning, heart threatening to escape out of his chest, feeling like there was still a little bit of hope. But now, his heart has decided that he was better inside, hidden. He's aware of his surroundings, the sound of his fan, cars outside, his neighbor from above him making her way out with her high heels. He’s also aware of the pain he’s feeling on his left arm and the little tear running down the side of his face.</p><p>He doesn’t want to think, to feel or to even see. But he does, and he must get used to it.</p><p>Truly, he knows he won’t even get use to the emptiness that surrounds him.</p><p>He wants to say fuck it and call, text, or even run to wherever Mark is. He wants everything to be like it used to. He wants the early morning and the late sleepy nights. He wants their pinkies intertwined and 12 p.m. cuddle seasons. He’s not sure if he will ever get all those moments back.</p><p>His phone vibrates beside him and he realizes he hasn’t text Jaemin back since he read his friend’s text asking him if he was okay and why he suddenly left yesterday’s party. </p><p>When he unlocks the phone and starts typing another message pops on his notifications.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Love  12:02 </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>im coming back </em>
</p><p>
  <em>to the apartment</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i think</em>
</p><p>
  <em>its time for us to</em>
</p><p>
  <em>talk</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>For a moment he thinks he’s still drunk, maybe just sleepy. But he decides to hide his feelings and ignore the butterflies<em>. “Of course we need to talk” </em>He thinks <em>“After all, breakups are always the ending scene.” </em></p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You 12:06 p.m. </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>yeah</em>
</p><p>
  <em>its okay </em>
</p><p>He suddenly wished he was still drunk and that the little butterflies inside him would die.</p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p>Mark wishes this kind of things were easier. He wishes that the reality was somewhat like a movie. But movies lied to him about the perfect teen love.</p><p>He decided to walk back to the apartment instead of taking a taxi or calling an uber. Perhaps he’s to anxious and doesn’t want to face the reality that his relationship might be over. Maybe he’s just overthinking.</p><p>While he’s walking, he starts wondering, remembering and questioning everything that happened the past month and a half, how every decision took them both to this exact moment, where they’re just waiting for something to happen but aren’t sure what will happen.</p><p>On the first night he didn’t even remember where he was heading until Ten’s door appeared in front of him, but now he recognizes the street he just left behind. He was too much of a mess, deep inside still is.</p><p>He remembers all the bad events these weeks had brought along, all the tears, sleeping in his hyung’s bed because he was too stared of being alone, living but not really feeling like he was.</p><p>As he lefts another street behind, he also remembers the good.<br/>
He has learned that communication is a key you never want to lose, that even though they’re both in their early twenties, they need to grow, and growing might hurt, but is necessary. He also learns to not put all the blame in a single person, not even himself.</p><p>From where he’s standing, he can see more familiar streets, and even if they’re a little empty, they remind him of the way home. He can see 20-year-old Hyuck and 21-year-old Mark running from the seven-eleven to the apartment at 10 p.m., rain soaking their jeans and curling their hair. He can see them holding hands on their way back from college, shyly kissing under a broken streetlight, drunk dancing on an empty street on the early hours of the a.m. He can see them and all he wants to do is tell them is to not take all those moments for granted, to think, to be careful. To not hurt each other.</p><p>He turns on the corner just as their past selves vanish into the air.</p><p>A couple of steps after turning there’s a flower shop they used to visit every couple of months. Flowers were a must have item inside their apartment, and they always made sure to buy flowers every two weeks or so.</p><p>He wonders is Hyuck bought flowers after he was gone.</p><p>Mark keeps walking and before he can think about anything else, the elevator is already making its was up.</p><p>He steps out of it and recognizes the white door he used to see every day at the end of the hallway on his right.</p><p>As he knocks, he feels nauseous.</p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You 12:35</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>im okay</em>
</p><p>
  <em>mark brough me</em>
</p><p>
  <em>home last night</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Nana 12:37</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>oh</em>
</p><p>
  <em>hyuck im sorry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>im so so so sorry</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i took u to a party </em>
</p><p>
  <em>u didnt even wanted to be at</em>
</p><p>
  <em>and then left you alone </em>
</p><p>
  <em>im sorry</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You 12:38</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>its okay </em>
</p><p>
  <em>i didn’t wanted to be</em>
</p><p>
  <em>a burden yesterday</em>
</p><p>
  <em>hope you had fun :]</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>Nana 12:40 </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>so about mark</em>
</p><p>
  <em>u okay?</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You 12:41</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>uh </em>
</p><p>
  <em>idk </em>
</p><p>
  <em>hes coming over </em>
</p><p>
  <em>he said we need to talk</em>
</p><p>
  <em>maybe it’s time for us to</em>
</p><p>
  <em>officially end things</em>
</p><p>
  <em>hopefully on a good note</em>
</p><p>
  <em>that’s all im asking for</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You 12:42</em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>ill message u later okay?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>i need a moment before</em>
</p><p>
  <em>seeing him again</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He looks at his phone on last time before putting it aside. Mark could knock the door any minute from now so he tries to make the apartment look less messy, less dark. He opens the windows and the blinds from the living room, hides all his new paintings and changes his clothes after a cold shower.</p><p>As he looks in the mirror, he decides to calm himself down. His reflection trembling in fear and breathing a little rushed, eyes wide open.</p><p>“Whatever happens today, we need to get through it. It’ll eventually hurt less” He’s not able to believe his own words, but tries to anyway, as if it would fool his heart enough to ache a little less.</p><p> </p><p>There’s a knock on his door, he paralyzes.</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>
    <em>You 12:50 </em>
  </strong>
</p><p>
  <em>door is unlocked</em>
</p><p>
  <em>just come in  </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>As the door opens, he takes one final look at his surroundings, tomorrow everything might be changed. Everything as it is now might not be the same. He’s scared. But it’s time.</p><p>Their eyes meet once again, they can see fear and hesitation written all over the other’s brown irises.</p><p>“Hi. Can I come in?”</p><p>“Uh, hi. Yes, come in please”</p><p> </p><p>It’s time.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>➳♡゛</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>They decide to sit at the dinning table, facing each other but looking everywhere else but the person in front of them. There’s silence and it seems like the streets decided to keep quiet so they can talk. It’s awkward, nerve wrecking.</p><p>Mark looks at the sink on his far right while Donghyuck’s eyes are glued on the window.</p><p>There, on the counter beside the kitchen sink is a vase with some dried flowers. Mark recognizes the as the flowers they bought before they had their big fight, almost two months ago.</p><p>“You haven’t bought this month’s bouquet, right?”</p><p>Hyuck turns his head and finally decides to look at Mark. And he sees little details that confess him that Mark has suffered just as much as he did.</p><p>“No” He looks at the vase “That’s supposed to be a job for two, I can’t choose them on my own”</p><p>They both look at the vase, filled with snowdrop flowers, touches of blue hydrangea, some white orchids flowers and some little touches of baby’s breath.</p><p>They both smile a little while looking at the bouquet. After all, they started choosing their own flower bouquets as a hobby. They would choose flowers based on their meaning, feelings and positive vibes they wanted to bring home together. Until one day, there was nothing positive to come home to, and the flowers we long forgotten.</p><p>“I’m sorry”</p><p>
  <em>Blue hydrangea, for heartfelt and honest emotions. </em>
</p><p>Donghyuck takes some time to process the words thrown into the air, starring deeply into Mark’s eyes. There’s a warm breeze coming from the window, and the room suddenly feels warm and chilly at the same time.</p><p>He wants to be as selfish as a narcissus, not accept the apology and try to just live without him. He wants to be heartless and pretend he's okay without him because he's been feeling so much pain that if he goes through the same situation again, he's not sure he’ll survive.</p><p>But he's never been good at pretending, mask falling off even before he had the chance to place it on him face, and he loves the man sitting in front of him. He loves him so much that it’ll hurt more to give him up.</p><p>“You don’t have to…”</p><p>“No, I do” Mark says. “I’m sorry, Donghyuck”.</p><p>He can see Mark taking deep breathes before speaking again.</p><p>“Today after dropping you off I went back to Ten’s home. I talked to him, and there are a few things he made me realize.” He continues. “ I don’t want to lose you, I don’t want to share my life with anyone else but you and I’m so fucking sorry for doing what I thought was the best for you when in reality I didn’t even ask you about it. I’ve been a dick the past few months, and I never realized how lucky I was to have you by my side until there was no one to wake up next to, until there was no one to hold me, no one to talk to and no one to <em>love</em>. And <em>I’m so sorry</em>.”</p><p>Mark carefully takes one of Hyuck’s hands, almost as if he’s afraid the boy would pull back. He <strong>is</strong> scared, this moment is uncertain, more than the last few weeks have been.</p><p>
  <em>White Orchids, to say sorry. </em>
</p><p>Tears fill their eyes, while holding hands, Hyuck’s lip is trembling and he can’t even see Mark through his tears.</p><p>“I guess we both fucked up” He says. His voice is trembling, and he holds Mark’s hand tight, not wanting to let go. “We were stress, tired and afraid. We reach a point where we would even speak to each other, and I felt like I was losing everything, I was a dick too and I too am <em>sorry</em>. I’m sorry, Mark. These past moths have been hell and I’m scared we fucked up too bad to fix this.”</p><p>Mark gets up from his seat and kneels in front of Donghyuck, still holding his hand. Silence fills the air and his chest feels heavy.</p><p>“We’re young, Donghyuck. Young and stupid. We’ve been growing together for years now, and growing hurts. It must. But I really don’t want to give up on us now. I don’t want to miss you 5 years down the line and realize we had a chance to make things right but decided not to because we were too scare. I want to keep growing with you by my side.”</p><p> <em>Baby’s breath, everlasting and undying love.</em></p><p>Donghyuck hugs Mark tight, arms and legs around him, and he’s crying. He’s crying so much because after all the wondering, all the fear and all the tears, there’s finally a light in the room. And the light is bright and warm, just the right amount he craved all those months ago. The pain in his chest is gone and his hearts beats in a happy melody he thought he had forgotten. He understands and is so glad to feel.</p><p>“If there’s something I know for sure, is that I want to keep growing with you by my side, Mark Lee. I want to grow, learn and even hurt with you by my side. If there’s a second chance to make things right, and even if we have to start all over again, I want to do it. I want to do it with you by my side.” He sobs.</p><p>
  <em>Snowdrops, rebirth, overcoming obstacles in life.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Till fate brings you home.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>“When I'm kissing ya, grippin' ya thigh, I realized you are destined and meant to be mine (…) Just know when you call, I'm at the end of the line.”</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Phases –Prettymuch<br/>Let’s fall in love for the night – Finneas<br/>Love song –Nct 127<br/>It takes time –Loco<br/>Easily –Bruno Major </p>
<p>i know its a very small last chapter but i really hope you like it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They spend all evening talking. About feelings, about how much they missed each other. Cuddling in their small couch, holding hands and kissing every mole, every little scar and detail. It feels like first love all over again. Innocent, shy and pure.  </p>
<p>It feels like a dream. One of those dreams they’ve woke up from all those past weeks, but this time there’s no waking up crying. They silently pray that if this is a dream, they never wake up from it.</p>
<p>They dance to some Bruno Major songs playing on the radio in the middle of the living room. Curtains open just enough to reveal their love to any passerby who decided to look up. Even if neither of them actually know how to properly slow dance, they enjoy their sweet time.</p>
<p>
  <em>Just because it won't come easily. </em>
</p>
<p>Their eyes met once again.</p>
<p><em>“You have all the stars inside your eyes” </em>Mark thinks</p>
<p>“Your eyes are pretty too, Lee.” Hyuck chuckles.</p>
<p>Mark realizes he said that out loud and whines, hiding his face in the younger’s neck. Even after a couple of years, Mark still feels his face heat up. He feels 18 all over again, almost like time stop when he met Donghyuck.</p>
<p>
  <em>Doesn't mean we shouldn't try. </em>
</p>
<p>“I mean it. I missed your eyes the most” Hyuck smiles when Mark’s face comes out from his hiding spot. Donghyuck’s arms rest on Mark’s shoulders now, hands locking on the back of Mark’s neck.</p>
<p>“Just my eyes?” Mark asks as their foreheads touch.</p>
<p>Donghyuck’s breath gets stuck inside his throat for a little. Cheeks becoming strawberry colored, lips forming a shy smile. He loves moments like this, where Mark gets a confident boost and makes him feel like a child watching his crush from afar.</p>
<p>“No” Hyuck says truthfully.</p>
<p>“I missed your hair” <strong><em>kiss</em></strong> “Your voice” <strong><em>kiss</em></strong> “Your round glasses” <strong><em>another kiss</em></strong>.  “Being wrapped in your arms” <strong><em>another one</em></strong> “I missed your presence, your heart, your <strong><em>soul</em></strong>” He finishes with another kiss, but this time a deeper one, lips meeting like it’s the first time all over again.</p>
<p>
  <em>But I'm not about to let us fail</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I'll be the wind picking up your sail</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>But won't you do something for me?</em>
</p>
<p>“I missed you too, baby.” Mark says. Hyuck’s body reacts to the pet name. It’s been so long since he last heard it, that he almost feels like his mind is playing with him. He loves it, he loves this, and he loves Mark. “I missed holding you like this and listening to the sound of your heart. I missed your starry eyes and the galaxy your moles mimic from up close. I missed you, and I don’t ever want to miss you again. Please stay with me for a lifetime.”</p>
<p>Mark’s eyes cannot lie to him in this very moment. His eyes tell him to take his heart once again, he’s sure Donghyuck would keep it safe. Hyuck silently tells him he will.</p>
<p>“Even when we’re old and can’t even walk without our bones cracking?” Hyuck says, laughing.</p>
<p>“Even then. We’re gonna be the coolest grandpas around town, baby. Just two old grandpas fighting over the coffee machine.” Mark responds.</p>
<p>They laugh loudly. Still slow dancing. Everything around them feels warm and like home. Tastes like bleu blush tea and smells like a fresh bouquet of flowers.</p>
<p>
  <em>Just because it won't come easily</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Doesn't mean we shouldn't try. </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>➳♡゛</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Donghyuck wakes up on the morning he doesn’t even dare to open his eyes. He’s scared everything was a dream. Dreams often become nightmares and setting his hopes high just makes the fall even more painful than it was before. He doesn’t want to be disappointed again at the lack of glasses on the nightstand.</p>
<p>He has woken up to an empty right side of the bed before, he doesn’t want to do it again. He’s slightly shaking when an arm wraps around his waist, pulling him closer to someone’s chest. Reassuring him he’s okay, and there’s no nightmare to wake up to now.</p>
<p>“Good morning baby, are you okay?” Mark’s morning voice breaks through the silence of the bedroom. A little sleepy, with hints of worry and very deep voice. He missed that too.</p>
<p>He feels so relieve he wants to cry. Mark is home, and everything that happened yesterday was not a dream, he feels safe, he feels complete.</p>
<p>He turns to his side, looking at a shirtless Mark whose eyes are closed. Just then he realizes he’s wearing Mark’s shirt, a little bigger than his own shirts, making him feel small and protected. He caresses the boy’s cheekbones, index finger tracing over Mark’s lips before said guy leaves a small kiss on the tip of his finger.</p>
<p>“I’m okay. You’re here with me, right?” He asks.</p>
<p>“I am” Mark responds.</p>
<p>“Then I’m okay. I’m safe and happy”</p>
<p>Mark opens his eyes just as Hyuck’s lips touch his forehead. And he can’t help but think for what seems like the thousand time that he’s <em>home</em>.</p>
<p>They stay in bed for a couple more minutes before they start getting hungry and decide to go out for coffee. They come across some cozy and pretty empty café and decide to give it a try. It’s 10 a.m. on a Sunday, and the city is just waking up, sun greeting everyone as it makes its way up in the sky.</p>
<p>They order and sit in the corner by the window. Just like Mark used to when they first met. Hyuck keeps the memory like a polaroid, hidden on the back of his mind.  </p>
<p>They talk about everything and anything they can think of: Donghyuck’s final project, Bubbles, Ten flying to New York for a big project, and make a quick reminder to buy more lavender bubble bath.</p>
<p>But still, Donghyuck is a little worried and overall curious. Tomorrow’s Monday, which means Mark need to go back to the hospital. And that scares him a little.</p>
<p>“Mark?” He says carefully. Said boy sets his coffee cup down to pay attention to his lover. “Are you going back to the hospital routine tomorrow?”</p>
<p>Mark smiles a little, but Donghyuck can’t really read his expression.</p>
<p>“Yeah” Mark says. Donghyuck sinks in his seat a little before Mark continues. “But my schedule is a lot lighter now, so don’t worry. I’ll be just on time to wait for you when you get off your last lesson so we can walk home, baby.”</p>
<p>“What?” Donghyuck is excited, confused but excited.</p>
<p>“I asked my boss to shorten my time at the hospital and he texted me my new schedule last night. I’m not kidding when I say I don’t want to make the same mistakes all over again.”</p>
<p>Donghyuck lets a happy noise come from the back of his throat and before can react he’s already hugging him tight.</p>
<p>There’s a relief feeling floating inside the café. They make a promise to communicate better, to not make the same mistakes again and to grow together over and over again. Easily falling into the routine again, spending time together, apart or with some friends. They learn, just as a child does, carefully and curious. They grow just like the little house plants hanging around the apartment, the love just as much as sunflowers do, they laugh and cry together. Get drunk and kiss multiple times under broken streetlights.</p>
<p>There’s no way everything stays perfect. There´s no actual perfect relationship, no perfect schedules and no perfect people, but when two people are destinate to be, their souls would always find a way to come back home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <strong>The end. </strong>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  
</p>
<hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Author’s note: </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Uuuuuhhhhh hi! Im so excited to post the last chapter of my first ao3 work and a little emotional about it. First of all I wanna say that I never though anyone would read this, I posted the first chapter after a personal situation happened and I was crying while drinking iced americano at 9 p.m. and kept it as a secret for some time till I finally grew some balls to share it. I received a lot of support from some of my friends and im forever thankful to them for hyping me up. I specially wanna thank grecia for putting up with my annoying ass (tkm, muchas gracias), regina who is actually helping me choose my next work’s theme and my friends for telling me their different points of view about love and heartbreak.  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Finally, I hope this story connected emotionally with at least one of you, and made you feel like there’s someone out there sharing a similar story. It will be okay, we grow and learn, and there’s always some kind of pain in the process. It hurts, and we feel like it will never end. But it eventually will. You will grow, and when you look back at the memories, you will finally appreciate how much you’ve changed. It takes time, some tears and some laughs. It’s a pain in the ass, I know. But eventually, our hearts would heal. Mine is slowly healing, and I hope yours would too. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>-Moon.</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>@peachesmoon on twt</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>. *. 　 ˚ 　　* * ⊹ 　　　 ˚ 　　　　 · . 　.. 　　 ✫ . .　 · · 　　　 ✦ ✧ 　　　 · · . 　　 ˚ 　　 · 　　　 ✵ ˚ .</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This was inspired by Jorja Smith's February 3rd, and other songs i listen to when im like,,,, sad sad, anyway enjoy! </p><p>twt: @10velyfebruary<br/>thanks for giving this a try :(</p></blockquote></div></div>
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